I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you would ever really coming along,
My faith in you is fading.. .

Roaming around,
in circles,
my head still spins,
roaming around in circles,
I’ve lost my way,
roaming around in circles,
Brightness of the city lights,
beauty of unknown lands,
but dont you know colors fade,
they fade just as quick,
as I roam around in circles,
Out of all the sceneries that I have seen,
I would give it all away,
to lie down on my bed,
and watch the sky for eternity.

I grew up in a world so big

that it shook me now and then,

and I saw things that hurt me,

a few bruises now gone,

few tears long forgotten,

dreams long broken,

the sound of my laughter

remains in the wind,

it flies like a veil in a storm,

only to touch the ground someday.

My world stings me,
a place where all the thorns lie,
hatred falls like rain,
you can call me foolish,
call me a child,
call me insane..
call me anything you’d like
you’re the only good thing
my sunshine..

I dont have words to tell you
how I feel
when im all alone
when you’re no more
i go back to my world,
it hurts me,
stings me,
it embraces me
only to hurt
in pain ,
in shame,
I dream of you,
even when darkness covers me,
I hope for you
you are my escape,
my vision of a better world,
my sunshine.

Why I Write

I was wondering about why I write, and who I write for - my words are selective, they're like the birds inside a cage waiting to be set free - but not just by anyone. I write for the ones who connected to the world, to people - I write for the girl who doesn't quite fit in her clique, and for the guy who just doesn't understand why his buddies can't think of anything but the football game.

I write for people who notice things that mostly go unnoticed.

I set my words flying in the vast sky, and they wander around in different places, some notice them, and some dont.

The 12th House

The Astrological 12^th house has an aura of mystery. Pointless to say that none of the astrologers have a clue about what it possibly means. Sure, we look at celebrity charts.. but then again how many celebrities give out their original year of birth, hour of birth ..so on?

After days and even years of researching about the 12^th house, I thought I’d write my take on it.. shouldn’t be so difficult since I do have 5 planets in the 12^th house. You can’t possibly define something that you’ve never experienced, and me having Venus, Uranus, Saturn, Neptune, and Sun in the 12^th house passes me the torch to ‘talk about’ this mysterious house.

Having majority of my planets in the 12^th house has taught me seclusion, the caged feeling – a life devoid of simple opportunities that we all have. It’s as if you’re living inside a room, you have food, you have clothes, you pretty much get anything you want.. BUT you do not get freedom. Now how’s that for a life? Pretty frustrating you think.. try living it. And we 12^th house people do live these lives.. because we have the inner strength to do so. Always 2 sides of a coin, we are the ones who face various difficulties in life that others wouldn’t be able to handle. Every fellow 12^th house-mate has a unique situation, but they’re all handling it. If your 12^th house planets make good aspects then you gain maturity, you become the Agony Aunt or Uncle for the clueless clan out there. With the bad aspects, we start substance abuse and alcoholism.

I recently came across a 12^th house analysis here http://www.odivinorum.com/blog/?p=69

The author writes “Imagine karma is like a river and all along the river in different spots, people have set up wheels to turn the water. Some people are in calm areas, others turbulent, some shallow, some deep, and so on. Now some happen to work with fresh, clear water and others find their wheels bring up murky water where a lot of waste has collected. This is the 12th house.” - Now I personally don’t like to think of the 12^th house as the ‘garbage can’.. but it might be true. Why the uncertainty? Because one’s treasure can be another trash. All 12^th house people have different problems, and if they talked about it with fellow 12^th house mates they’d definitely find that their problems indeed have solutions. The 12^th house causes pain because of it’s ability to drag you out of society and put you in places where you are alone and out of reach (ex. Hospitals, prisons, etc.) . Strong aspects to the 12^th house and/or 12^th house stelliums can make a person want to hide, or just stay quiet in front of everyone. We might feel that no one will understand our situation, or we might feel safe when we’re all alone. But that’s how we suffer. By being completely ostracized from people, from loved ones, left all alone with a life that seems unbearable.

You don’t know what you have, or who you can become unless you meet someone who recognizes your potential. And with the 12^th house people, there’s the potential that most of the time goes unnoticed because of their own habit of hiding or being afraid to come out.