Anywhere Out of the World

This life is a hospital where every patient is possessed with the desire to change beds; one man would like to
suffer in front of the stove, and another believes that he would recover his health beside the window.
It always seems to me that I should feel well in the place where I am not, and this question of removal is one
which I discuss incessantly with my soul.
'Tell me, my soul, poor chilled soul, what do you think of going to live in Lisbon? It must be warm there, and there
you would invigorate yourself like a lizard. This city is on the sea-shore; they say that it is built of marble
and that the people there have such a hatred of vegetation that they uproot all the trees. There you have a landscape
that corresponds to your taste! a landscape made of light and mineral, and liquid to reflect them!'
My soul does not reply.
'Since you are so fond of stillness, coupled with the show of movement, would you like to settle in Holland,
that beatifying country? Perhaps you would find some diversion in that land whose image you have so often admired
in the art galleries. What do you think of Rotterdam, you who love forests of masts, and ships moored at the foot of
houses?'
My soul remains silent.
'Perhaps Batavia attracts you more? There we should find, amongst other things, the spirit of Europe
married to tropical beauty.'
Not a word. Could my soul be dead?
'Is it then that you have reached such a degree of lethargy that you acquiesce in your sickness? If so, let us
flee to lands that are analogues of death. I see how it is, poor soul! We shall pack our trunks for Tornio. Let us go
farther still to the extreme end of the Baltic; or farther still from life, if that is possible; let us settle at the Pole. There
the sun only grazes the earth obliquely, and the slow alternation of light and darkness suppresses variety and
increases monotony, that half-nothingness. There we shall be able to take long baths of darkness, while for our
amusement the aurora borealis shall send us its rose-coloured rays that are like the reflection of Hell's own
fireworks!'
At last my soul explodes, and wisely cries out to me: 'No matter where! No matter where! As long as it's out
of the world!'

Charles Baudelaire

Some people are like bad dreams
they may not exist in real life
but somehow have much more impact.

I think I've always envied normal lives. Living in the same neighborhood all your life, attending the same school your parents went to - every street you remember by heart. I've never had that. Once I got around to liking a place I had to pack my bags and move. Stability might be boring to some, but feeling safe is the most beautiful feeling of all.

Eckle took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting n..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Sometimes, we all need something to believe in - to hold on to.
True, the world is not short on people, but everyone is looking for something different here..they're not looking at the things that are easily found. Expectations are getting too high...so we need our own cling.ling. I have mine, and I pretend to be happy.. maybe I am happy. Happiness like all other emotions in life are tricky..you think you're sure and then the story changes on you.

I'm tired of walking in circles,
im blinded with all the light,
i feel so numb with all the pain,
i can't hear a word with all the screaming,
i can't sleep when i haven't woken up yet.

Sometimes I feel dead,
as if i were laying on a snowy road,
with empty hands,
and silent eyes,
every bit of sound killed,
every word hushed away,
every color pale,
i sometimes lie here,
looking at the sky,
hoping to catch a glimpse,
of life.

A sea shell crushed,
lies beautifully basking in the sand,
her life marred by the thumps,
her tears unseen,
her cries unheard,
her soul longing for completeness.

Im nothing but a withered rose in your book,
trapped without regrets,
nor wishing to break free.

Save me from the emptiness
that runs through my veins,
crying for salvation
in the midst of utter fiasco.